Friday, November 14, 2008


Candii was brought by ambulance today for hospice care to the same hospital she was born in. It was a tough ride, but she calmed once inside. It is hard to say, write, or believe but...Candii is dying. We drove down today to be with our family, to hold Candii's hand, to tell her we love her, and to say goodbye. It is the hardest thing we will ever do. I miss her already. I promised her that I would tell Evelyn all about her wonderful Auntie. How much she was loved by her, how she loved to tease Shawn, see Mount Rushmore, and that her favorite color was purple. I also promised that each of our future babies would know what an awesome Auntie they had and the light that shone from her. It is my greatest sorrow that Candii will miss watching Evie grow. I know that she was one of her greatest joys. They have such a special bond.

Candii has been a gift in my life, a most precious gift. Our hearts are hurting so much sometimes I can't breathe. I hold Evie in my lap and she rubs her Auntie's head and pats her hand as if to say, "I love you, Auntie Candii." Here is Evie and Candii the last time they were together on October 25th. I love this picture.

They are keeping her heavily medicated to ease the pain, anxiety and agitation that she is feeling. This has been a comfort to us as it was hard to watch her struggle. We pray for her peace and for her to walk into her Savior's arms.

I spent time tonight reading her some Psalms and John Chapter 14. She seemed to be comforted by my voice. Though I could barely get through all of it, Psalm 23 brings us great comfort:

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

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